Monday, 28 September 2009

Terraforming Terra

So, we're probably going to get a 4 degree rise by 2060? Far from going out and terraforming other parts of our solar system, looks like we've got a little problem to deal with at home first.

However, what would happen if an interstellar mission, from the planet, Kula, looking for Kulaforming opportunities, happens across our small, slightly-used, blue-green planet? On the bridge of the starship "Nordic Social Model" (this is the nearest meaningful translation), the science officer speaks up.

"Captain, this planet could provide the perfect environment for sub-galactic living, if it wasn't for one of the native species running amock, and ruining the climatic equilibrium."

The crew might discuss solutions ranging from polite suggestions to the inhabitants, to bringing in the team from Planetary Rentokill, but lets just imagine what would happen if they just decided to land their tremendously-powerful spaceship, and sort things out.

In its first week the new planetary goverment would probably:
  • Ban any chopping down of trees, without written permission from the Kulan forestry agency, (100 light years away), in triplicate
  • Give people 30 days to decide where they hell they want to be, and then ban flying, on pain of vapourisation
  • Fund walking, fanning and knitting lessons for North Americans
  • Allow the removal of oil/coal/gas from the ground, only with a tree-planting receipt for each barrel/ton/large bag-full
  • Circulate the simplified designs for the fusion reactor their species developed several thousand years ago.
  • Start covering the Sahara with aluminium foil (or something like that...)

1 comment:

Martin said...

Apparently James Lovelock agrees, although due to the shortage of aliens, he suggests we suspend democracy instead. I believe this was tried, e.g. in Germany in the 1930s, and the results were not great.